Meh.

I’m a very upbeat person… most of the time. This is not one of those times.

This is Zoey.

Little Miss Zoey

This little peanut has been in my life since April of 2005 when she was just 7 weeks old. I first met her when she was just two or three weeks old! She’s amazing. Smart, sweet, funny, loving, stoic, protective, fun and now she’s gone. After 15 years, I’m without my furbaby and my heart is shattered. I haven’t cried this much since my mom died two years ago. This nugget had me wrapped around her little paw. There is absolutely not one thing I wouldn’t do for her… except let her suffer.

That’s the deal-breaker that came on July 9th. Long story short, we think she had a stroke just as we put her dinner down. I scooped her up and put her in my dad’s arms and immediately called the vet. She wasn’t coming out of it so we knew it was time to say goodbye. I called VCA and made all the arrangements (yes, I want her ashes… and her paw prints… and everything else I can possibly get) and we jumped in the car and got to the animal hospital in 12 minutes.

They came out and got her pretty fast. We weren’t sure we’d be able to be with her because of COVID-19 but we were so relieved to get a vet that was okay with us being present… with masks (obvs) and gloves and a clear shower curtain with two “x”s cut into it to put your hands through. Not how I thought I’d say goodbye to my baby girl, but I’ll do whatever I have to do to be there with her.

I’ve gotta say… it was pretty peaceful. The vet gave her a sedative and she stopped fighting the paralysis that had taken over her entire left side. She knew we were there. We were able to touch her and talk to her and tell her how much we loved her and what a good girl she was… and she was. Once the vet gave her the final injection in her IV, she was gone in less than a minute. I thought it would be morbid or unbearable to watch or something completely different than it really was, which was quiet and peaceful and relief that she wasn’t suffering or scared or freaking out. She was at peace.

Zoey was truly the best dog we’ve probably ever owned. No offense to the four that came before her or the one she left behind… Zoey was just the best parts of all of them in one adorable little package.

I’m honestly so thankful that I’ve been working from home these last few months. I didn’t know it at the time but what a blessing it has been to have that time with Zoey. Extra (homemade!) treats, extra time outside, extra brushing, extra toys and extra love. I’m so very thankful.

I just really miss my little one.