Today is my birthday. The first birthday I’ve ever had without my mum. I knew this would be a tough day and not just for me. It’s tough for my dad too. We’re still lost without her, and I expect we will be for a very long time.
My mom always made one of my favorite meals for my birthday dinner and always ALWAYS made me apple squares instead of a cake. It’s times like these that I once again realize what a remarkable woman she was and just how much she loved her family. Even without her here I am in awe of all the things she did on the daily that were so meaningful.
I’m so blessed to have had her for my mum and for all the little things that were so insignificant at the time but are monumental memories now. I’m also so very lucky for my increasingly close relationship with my dad since her passing. I’ve always been very close with both my parents, but my bond with my dad grows stronger every single day. He’s a wonderful dad. He loves me and would do anything for me.
Dad bought me a really lovely card and put money in it. He said he didn’t know what to get me for my birthday. Once again, another thing my mum would have taken care of. I know my dad feels bad about that, though he absolutely shouldn’t. I know he would love a sign from above pointing him in the right direction. I know it hurts him as much as it hurts me that she’s not with us.
But… with all the tears and tugging of the heartstrings today, it was still a good day. So many well wishes from family and friends near and far. Lovely cards from so many coworkers. Flowers, cake, lunch and gifts at work. Lovely dinner and a yummy cake shared with my dad. I’m very lucky, and I know it… because my parents set a great example for me and they brought me up with love, compassion and respect.
Crisp morning air flows into warm days and then into perfectly cool nights. Activities in autumn are reflective and traditional… leaf peeping, apple picking, cooking hearty and soul warming meals, baking (of any kind), fire pits, big comfy sweaters and all those warm colors everywhere.
This past weekend was a great glimpse into the season ahead. But it was just a tease. There will be summer days still ahead. And Indian Summer… that always pops up in late October without warning.
I can hardly wait for autumn to stick around for more than a few days. There were so many things my mom and I did during the fall. I’m really going to miss her as the season comes into its own. I’m not sure it’s possible to miss her any more than I do now, but I have a feeling today’s mourning is going to grow exponentially with each seasonal tradition that goes undone.
I’ve been a member of Influenster for several years now. I used to be much more active in their community but, as time went on, I lost interest. I recently started amping up my activity and was subsequently chosen to receive a sample of a new Perricone MD product to test out and review. Cool. Free skincare is my jam!
Fast forward a couple of weeks and this little cutie shows up on my doorstep.
One little 1oz bottle of serum that’s supposed to diminish my wrinkles (dare to dream!) and generally be a piece in the ‘fountain of youth’ puzzle. First thing I did was snap this pic. Then I opened the bottle and, as is my norm, smelled it and put a teeny drop on the back of my hand. First impressions… smells nice; not too perfumey; felt silky on my skin; absorbed really fast.
Tonight I decided to start the test for real. Now, the writing on the bottle is so small that there’s no way I could read it without a magnifying glass, so I went to Sephora’s app and found the product myself. Always easier to read directions on my iPad anyway. Before I could find the ‘how to use’ section I was stopped dead in my tracks.
That can’t be right. Can it? $179.00 for one ounce of this stuff? ONE OUNCE?! The only difference between the one they’re selling online and the one I received is that the one I got in the mail didn’t have an eye dropper. That’s it!
I washed my face and carefully put some of this magical potion on my skin. Smooth. Silky. Absorbent. Check, check and check. I can’t wait to check this out for a couple of weeks and see if I notice any kind of difference at all. Fingers crossed… $179.00. I still can’t get past the price!
This was a very, very long week. Not quite sure why, but I do know it wasn’t just me. Every night that I left the office and rode the elevator down with people confirmed it… comments about how long the week is, how long the days are etc. were echoed by all. I’m sure the weather had something to do with it, but seriously… it was a hella long week.
I’ve felt lousy for a couple of days… feverish, body aches and a killer headache. I know I’m overtired but there’s something else going on. In my typical libra fashion… I try to self diagnose. I, in no way, shape or form, have any business trying to figure out anything medical, so I popped a couple of Tylenol and got on with it.
Today I went to have my yearly mammogram. First time in my life my mom didn’t accompany me. I was surprisingly fine… until I got back in the car. You see, not only did my mom and I do pretty much everything like this together but my appointment was in the same building where my mom had her chemo treatments.
The last time I was in that building was April 18th… the day before she died. It’s truly an amazing facility filled with the most genuine, gifted and caring healthcare professionals. I had a little chat with my mom when I got back in the car, wiped my tears and headed on my way.
I had brunch with one of mom’s closest friends at one of mom’s favorite places. I met yet another person who knew my mom and offered their condolences… which almost always makes me feel like I’m gonna lose it and start bawling right on the spot… but I held it together and had a lovely visit with a wonderful friend and her beautiful grandson.
I ran some errands and made it home between downpours. Chilled out for a bit and got a nice surprise when the mail came. Perfectly timed happy mail. I couldn’t have planned it better. Nothing earth shatteringly exciting, but it made my little planner nerd heart skip a beat.
It’s probably my busiest month… lots of things to celebrate, fresh air to breathe in and memories to make and fondly remember.
August came in hot… and humid. The A/C has been running 24/7 for the last week or more. On top of the high heat we’ve experienced some pretty strong storms. Downpours, thunder, lightning and flash flooding. It’s messed with some plans, but nothing 24 hours couldn’t fix.
A postponed party on Saturday afternoon led to a night of margaritas and Mexican food with my two bffs followed by a Sunday of mimosas and bbq to celebrate two adorable little boys. Not a bad weekend at all.
I got some fun happy mail this week too. A couple of enamel pins from Papa Llama brightened my week. The functional introverts pin matches my favorite tote! I’m really pleased with this Etsy purchase… one of the better ones, I’d say.
My favorite moments are unplanned and genuine and those that bring happiness. I had one of those this morning. I made breakfast for my dad and myself. We do big breakfasts on Sundays around here. Today it was French toast with bacon and fresh fruit.
After breakfast, both Zoey, my 13 year old Cairn Terrier, and Lola, my mom’s 13 year old Cockapoo, has a bite of French toast sans syrup from my dad. I had saved them each a wedge of watermelon.
Zoey is just one of those dogs that you marvel at. Her disposition and temperament are just fantastic. I’m so, so lucky that she’s mine. She’s pretty cute too. She is also the foodiest dog I’ve ever had. Zoey loves to eat but definitely has her favorites. One of them is watermelon. She came outside with me and could barely contain herself when she saw the watermelon wedges. Since Lola didn’t want to join us, Zoey got them both.
It was just a few minutes but cherished none the less. My mom would have loved it, which makes it even more special. Just a small few moments in time that will truly stay with me. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to have meaning, and this one proves it for me ❤️
An awful lot has changed since my mom passed away in April. It’s been the longest and most heart wrenching three months of my life.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in a short amount of time. I’ve found strength I didn’t know I had. I’ve grown even closer to my dad and for that I am so thankful.
I’ve also stepped up my cooking skills. I’m trying to meal plan but I’m not great at it yet. I downloaded Mealime and found some great, easy and tasty recipes that I’ve been able to whip up for dad and my dinner. I need to get better (a LOT better) at the whole food prep thing. Serving dinner at 8pm isn’t good for either of us.
But… those meals have been worth the wait. I’m pretty happy with myself in executing these new recipes well enough to get yummy noises from my dad… who equates “it’s fine” for what anyone else would call “delicious”.