It’s my birthday.

Today is my birthday. The first birthday I’ve ever had without my mum. I knew this would be a tough day and not just for me. It’s tough for my dad too. We’re still lost without her, and I expect we will be for a very long time.

My mom always made one of my favorite meals for my birthday dinner and always ALWAYS made me apple squares instead of a cake. It’s times like these that I once again realize what a remarkable woman she was and just how much she loved her family. Even without her here I am in awe of all the things she did on the daily that were so meaningful.

I’m so blessed to have had her for my mum and for all the little things that were so insignificant at the time but are monumental memories now. I’m also so very lucky for my increasingly close relationship with my dad since her passing. I’ve always been very close with both my parents, but my bond with my dad grows stronger every single day. He’s a wonderful dad. He loves me and would do anything for me.

Dad bought me a really lovely card and put money in it. He said he didn’t know what to get me for my birthday. Once again, another thing my mum would have taken care of. I know my dad feels bad about that, though he absolutely shouldn’t. I know he would love a sign from above pointing him in the right direction. I know it hurts him as much as it hurts me that she’s not with us.

But… with all the tears and tugging of the heartstrings today, it was still a good day. So many well wishes from family and friends near and far. Lovely cards from so many coworkers. Flowers, cake, lunch and gifts at work. Lovely dinner and a yummy cake shared with my dad. I’m very lucky, and I know it… because my parents set a great example for me and they brought me up with love, compassion and respect.

What more could I ask for.